Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
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Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
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He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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