It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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