there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize