Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
