did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
