I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize