Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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