so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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