He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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