why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
You left your phone here
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