i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
