Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
