I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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