Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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