i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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