i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
