thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
where am i from again
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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