You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize