After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
