Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
