I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize