After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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