um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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