the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
