im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
