Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
