Say something about gay babies.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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