Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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