butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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