Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
