What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We were destined to go to rehab together
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
