okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
