Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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