he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize