I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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