fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So much rum. So many feels.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
