i was born a porn star she said
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
