So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
