i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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