I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
