she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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