So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
