ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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