he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
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Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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