dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
