a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
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Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize