doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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