im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
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She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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