Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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