We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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