One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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