I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize