so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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