Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
